The Loneliness Society
You have reached the secret number
of the loneliness society
I'm afraid there's no-one here to take your call
We'll all away at work
upon our solitary projects
making plans and plastic models
for nobody to see.
Our membership comprises
of the gamut of all classes
unified by a need to quench the thirst of solitude
You can register your interest
to join by pressing one
there are no other numbers
here to press.
Perhaps you lack a nomination
I assure you it's quite normal.
You are just the sort of person we attract
you will find a friend in every
no-one in our membership
and if you've ever hoped for love
a longing for that flame
we have eligible members
who feel the same.
If you're still on-line and listening
then you're just the sort of person
who would fit our club, an apex of our kin
so it is with deep regret that I
inform you that we closed
sometime ago
and that our membership declined
from one to zero rather suddenly
and that these few words are all that's left
this taciturn recording
from an applicant like you
who found the number quite by accident
so feel free to leave your message
for the next unwary caller
you may speak your lonely greeting
at the beep.